Honesty

I started this blog to grow myself as a person and to further my writing. I started this blog with the intention of being loudly and gloriously honest. But so far, I feel like I've only started this blog.

I'm not writing as often as I should, obviously. I could make a case for the fact that I was engaged in a fairly intense house-hunt; that moving and the holidays really collided in a messy and time-consuming series of projects. I could ... but that wouldn't be the whole truth. The truth is, I have been afraid. There are things that I want to say that I have not said because I don't want to deal with the fallout. I couldn't write because the one thing I wanted to write about felt off-limits.

All it boils down to is that I'm not a Christian. It's funny that writing that statement is a big deal, because it really shouldn't be. It should be just another fact about me. Melanie: hazel eyes, loves to read, doesn't believe in God, nonsmoker, etc. Unfortunately, my family is deeply religious. Several of my close friends are deeply religious. I live in a red state that is deeply religious. It's how I was raised and what I have been exposed to my entire life. So it's a little complicated.

I don't want to leave anyone with illusions - I am not just atheist, I am actively opposed to organized religion. Now that I've said that, I want to assure you that I'm not calling anyone out or challenging anyone's beliefs. You do you. When I'm with you, I will quietly bow my head when you pray and I will respect you, just as I have over the past few years as I quietly revised my inner dialog. But I also don't want you to think that I am going through a phase or that I'm really mad at God for some misguided reason. Nope. I've read the bible, I've gone to church, I've been baptized (twice!), and all of those things led me back to where I started: not believing. So, do I want to visit your church? No thank you. Do I want you giving my son religious lessons or propaganda? Hard pass. Do you need to dedicate time and resources to trying to convert me with books, arguments, or whatever? No sirree. I gave it the old college try. I reached my own conclusions.

Anyway, the title of this article is "Honesty" and not "In Your Face" or "Fuck Off" and especially not "I Hate My Family". I'm being me, honestly and without the intention of hurting anyone. Just something to think about when you formulate your response.