One of the biggest problems I have with writing consistently is that I get overwhelmed by ideas. I could do this or this or this thing and this is possible and what about that? And it's too much so I just don't write. I'm also a crazy perfectionist. Like many writers, I have trouble with my internal editor. That bitch won't shut up so I write 3 words and change two of them. It's hard to get anything done when you are still obsessing about the first sentence. I think the only cure for this is to write more. Just vomit up words until I stop reading them and just let them happen. But I suppose we'll see.
There are a lot of writing challenges out there. I chose this one because my instinct is to attempt to write a piece of flash fiction. Unfortunately, my inner editor has not allowed me to finish something I started about 2 weeks ago so I already know that isn't a viable path. I decided to go with a challenge that was skewed toward journaling. It will force me to be vulnerable (which is another struggle for me) and to write every day but hopefully it will trigger my editor less.
Day 1: List 10 things that make you really happy.
1. Snuggling my son. This morning, he crawled into bed with me. I put my arm around him and he relaxed into me and we both fell back to sleep. Heaven.
2. Sleeping late and taking naps. I'm always tired. It's just a given. But I have this weird relationship with sleep. I've gone through months of struggles with insomnia in the past but that's not my problem now. At night, I don't want to go to bed because I'm conceding that the day is over and I dread the start of a new day. If my sleep is interrupted more than a couple of times, I feel exhausted in the morning. I've tried becoming an early riser but the combination of letting go of the previous day and greeting the new day before it's even dawned makes it a difficult habit for me. It feels like punishment. On the other hand, sleeping in and napping feels like a luxury. Plus, it's healing to me in a way that very little else is. If I have the flu or a migraine, I sleep. If I'm depressed or overwhelmed, I sleep. It's my reset button; I turn myself off and turn myself back on again and it usually works.
3. Creating. Whether I am writing, sculpting, painting, making jewelry - whatever it is - I love it. That feeling where time goes away and your ego is gone and you just lean into the process and let it take over; I live for that feeling. It's like being bathed in a divine light, it's like the universe is rushing through you and you are a perfect part of the whole because you are fulfilling your purpose. Seeing other people in that zone or connecting with other people's art (visual, musical, etc) is a close second; it's intensely moving and inspiring and can even be erotic.
4. Reading.
5. Hiking and being outdoors.
6. Orgasms. Because obvious.
7. Zingers. When I spontaneously come up with a great pun or clever turn of phrase, it's magical. It's almost as magical to hear someone else do it. I like clever comedies. stand-up comics, and funny friends.
8. Champagne. It's so good and I rarely have it. Bonus points: kissing someone and tasting champagne on their lips.
9. Trying new things and going new places. I feel energized and brave and ALIVE.
10. The beach (especially South Padre). I don't get tired of looking at the sea and the sky. I don't get tired of the sound of the waves or the spicy scent of the water. I would love to spend more time there.
So there, I did it. Obviously, it's not everything that makes me happy and maybe it's not even the Top 10, depending on the day. But it got me thinking and writing and that was the point. You should do the challenge too, you know. Feel free to write your own answers. You don't have to go in depth like I did or share it with anyone but at least give it some thought.
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