My Inside Voice

You know how we like to tell rowdy kids "use your inside voice"?

This is not that.

This is my Inside Voice, the running monologue in my brain. It's the voice that most people don't know about because I try to be Nice.

After all:

       "You attract more flies with honey than vinegar."

Well, I'm not collecting flies here.

"Nice" is a dangerous word, especially for a woman, because it's a weapon in the hands of everyone but you. Nice means keeping your opinion to yourself or sugar-coating it. Nice is giving away ownership of your feelings and your power to keep others comfortable and happy. It means smiling even though you are uncomfortable, angry, or hurt because burdening other people is Not Nice. Nice girls are lying, self-conscious doormats.

The opposite of Nice varies with the situation but, unless you are under the age of 7, the opposite of Nice is not Mean. Sometimes the opposite of Nice is Selfish. Sometimes it's Lazy or Rude or Opinionated or Ungrateful. Sometimes it's High Maintenance; as though simply having wants and needs is offensive to the rest of the world. 

This is my blog and I'm going to use my Inside Voice. You are going to learn things about me that you will not like. You might be surprised and upset by my opinions and beliefs. I will read and write things that will make you uncomfortable. I will probably say "fuck" a lot because Words Have Power and I get to choose my own words and wield my own power. I don't say and do these things to hurt you, though I am almost certain it will be interpreted that way. I'm going to say and do these things because my Inside Voice isn't going to be Nice all the time, it won't be stifled or minimized to please you. I am sorry for the way that makes you feel but I will not be sorry for living my version of my life instead of yours.