It sounds weird, but I really kind of hate this topic because my answer can only be an emotional one. I'm also prone to strong feelings. Regardless of the subject, I am likely to feel passionately about it in one way or another. I don't half-ass my feelings.
Maybe I should write about the thing that's been on my mind the most: getting a new job. I definitely have strong feelings about that.
On one hand, my family needs me to get a job. We have bills and a lot of fun and we'd like to keep paying for both. If I make a decent amount of money, it takes the strain off of my husband. He's unhappy at work and this situation makes him feel trapped because we rely on his paycheck. That's a terrible spot to be put in. We're paying a lot for health insurance - a ridiculous amount. If I got a job with insurance, I could eliminate like 3/4 of that particular bill.
On the other hand, ugh. I know that's not very eloquent but it feels accurate. I just got out of a job that made me miserable and I'm not looking forward to getting myself into another bad place. I'm the type that realizes that her office is awful and then continues to work there for another 5 years.
Most writing jobs are in content and SEO (search engine optimization). I don't want a job in SEO. I know this is a really unpopular attitude but I find SEO to be profoundly icky. The content you have to produce is shallow, keyword-heavy, less than truthful, and manipulative. I hate lying, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I also hate the idea of ripping off other people's work and of attaching my name to something low-quality.
The jobs that I would even consider require a degree and most of them are around downtown Austin anyway. I don't have a degree, I live in the suburbs, and I really hate long commutes, especially in traffic.
I like my schedule now. The house is much cleaner. I can have lunch with my son, go on field trips with him, and walk him home every day after school. I'm available to help people when they need me. If I'm up late taking care of a sick dog or kid or whatever, I can nap.
And I've been writing. That's really the best part. I've restarted the blog and I'm working on my novel. I've been heavily into affirmations and staying positive. I've never been happier.
So. What to do. Not that there's a real option. Obviously, I'm going back to work. I just really hope I end up where I'm supposed to be and the trade-offs are worth it.
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