Hustle Up

As you may or may not know, I have started working for a couple of popular delivery services to keep contributing financially to the family. I started with Favor because their marketing is very good. I mean, it's hard to say no. Unfortunately, Favor was cool for like, a day. Then I realized how much gas I was using and mileage I was putting on the car for $8 an hour and that was the end of that. Plus, it was insanely stressful. Driving can make me anxious and I constantly felt pressed for time so that just heightened the anxiety. It was not a match for my personality. I was discouraged but not beaten (and, frankly, still desperate) so I looked into Shipt.

Shipt is pretty great. It's a grocery delivery service that I've actually used many times in the past. I feel like the company is more supportive, has a better app, and is just a lot easier for someone like me. Less driving, less confusion, less room for error. I do wish Shipt would adopt Favor's minimum tipping policy, but it's still better money than Favor was on a good day.

(Side note - Favor is owned by HEB and if they would let you do only grocery deliveries on their app, I would totally participate again. Just putting that out in the universe.)

I tell you all of this so that you have a little background going in to this story. This is the story of a no good, very bad shop.

I put myself on the schedule for Shipt not really having much expectation of being busy. The market saturation in my area ensures that I don't get many offers. To my surprise, I was offered 2 shops in rapid succession. The first shop was a doozie and it was a bit of a risk because it had a lot of items but not a lot of time before the delivery window. At the same time, a big order means better money and I need money so... not really a tough choice.

Well, it was an adventure. I wasn't familiar with the grocery store that I was shopping so trying to find the items was frustrating. It was an HEBplus so it's stupid-huge like Cabellas but with pantry items instead of hunting and fishing gear. I had to ask directions to the cheese. I feel ridiculous just typing that.

The store was PACKED. Everyone was shopping that day and there were at least 2 HEB in-store shoppers with their giant carts, taking up room in the narrow aisles. I love them, they work hard and they have a lot going on. But, man oh man, there was really not enough room for them, me, and all the regular shoppers.

Side note - I love that shoppers have professional courtesy. Whenever any of the "professional" shoppers see each other, no matter what platform we are working for, we always offer each other sympathetic smiles, try to stay out of each other's way, and shout out well wishes and encouragement. Stay strong fellow shoppers!

Back to the adventure. So many of the items on my 55 item shopping list were not available. I was constantly texting the client with substitutions and their sizes and prices for comparison. Waiting on a response is difficult because you are dead in the water until you get a yea or nay. There are times when I am confident enough with a substitution and I will just stick it in the cart and keep shopping while I wait for confirmation but, if I'm not sure, I stay in that aisle because backtracking feels like defeat. But being an unmoving blob in the pasta aisle is also a problem. Regular shoppers don't see a person providing great customer service, they see an obnoxious woman taking up space while she frantically texts and mutters under her breath.

The cart got heavy quickly because this particular client wanted a lot of canned items. The order was at least 3/4 canned and bottled. In fact, they wanted something like 20 cans of soup and only 6 of them were duplicates. So 14 individual cans of soup with very similar names... it was madness. I could feel the time ticking away as I struggled to find yet another can of chicken noodle soup that was somehow different from all the other previous chicken noodle soups that were already in the cart. How are there so many unique vegetable beef soups when they are all made by Progresso??? I was sweaty and flustered by the time I found them all.

In the middle of the shop (and, coincidentally, the middle of this grocery store), it all just kinda fell apart. You know those bulk supplies of water, 32 bottles of 16.9oz water bottles, all plastic-wrapped together? This client needed 4 of them. Plus an 18 pack of Gatorade. Plus 4 different brands of soda in 4 different container-types. I mean, the soda wasn't really a problem but I was so WTF-ed out by then, it seemed like a ludicrous request.

The basket was beyond full and I still had like 15 more items. It's so heavy, I had to brace myself and push with non-existent muscle groups to get it rolling. I looked ridiculous. I felt like I was thrust into some strange Cross-fit/Supermarket Sweep crossover without my consent.

I finally had to admit defeat and call Shipt to get my second shop reassigned. There's no way I was delivering the current order on time, much less segueing into another shop successfully. That sucked for me but hopefully the client got their order on time.

Side note - omg, the people who work as Shipt shopper support are the nicest people in the world. So understanding and helpful. Bless you, beautiful support people!

The rest of the shop is a blur of trying to find substitutes and shoving a 2 ton cart up and down aisles without audible grunting.

Checking out was fun because the teenagers on the register found the order as bizarre as I did. They made me promise not to deliver the groceries into a weird bunker for my own safety. They also conspicuously did not offer to help me out to my car (I really can't blame them) so my pride and I unloaded the survival rations (???) into the trunk of my tiny car.

Life disappointed me yet again here, folks; there was standing water in my cooler bag. Now, I'm not blaming that on my husband... but I'm not NOT blaming it on him either. It could have been either of us. So it could have definitely been him.

Anyway, I can't put the cold stuff in the cooler and deliver wet bags because I imagined how horrified I would be if someone delivered wet grocery bags to me and there were no leaks in my grocery items. I would have to wonder why the bags were wet and my imagination is fertile so that would not go well. In the end, I just hoped that the house was truly only 7 minutes away like the GPS promised me and there wouldn't be any more funny business.

At the client's home, they had widely-spaced cement pavers and I ended up rolling my ankle on one of my 6-7 trips to the door. The disappointment of delivering this weird order and not seeing an obvious religious sect or 18 Kids and Counting was nearly overwhelming.  No tinfoil hats or old-timey aprons or even a wall covered in newspaper articles with a lot of arrows and question marks in red ink. It was just a regular mom in workout gear and one toddler and a cat. Lame.

After all of this, the cherry on the top is that I forgot to mark the order as delivered until I got to my house like 10 minutes later so it seemed even later than it was. GAH!

Here's my summary - is Shipt a great program for shoppers and clients? Absolutely. Are you going to have tough shops? Inevitably. There are too many variables for it to always go smoothly. Did I get tipped for the giant, late order? Yes I did, $10. Not bad, but I definitely treated myself to some caramel M&Ms and that was probably more satisfying.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Me, desperately applying myself to side-hustles

So.

Before I launch into the changes that you will see around this Words Have Power, I just want to remind everyone that I am not a fast bloomer or an early adapter. To me, it feels very much like I'm reinventing this blog when, in fact, I'm just going to start using it for its intended purpose. I'm so far behind in this concept, I'm practically vintage.What can I say, self-promotion and public vulnerability are NOT my wheelhouse. I'm much better at self-deprecation, deflection, perhaps even... stalling?

Surely not...

Anyway - here's the general idea: I will post far more often. I will post things like book reviews, songs that move me, my latest artwork or craft project, and writing from prompts. I will post pieces of my work that are for sale and pieces of my work that are so comically horrible, they will likely become memes.  I might even post videos of the work in progress; those are super-fun to watch. I will let you know what I struggle with and when I succeed. I will try to be vulnerable in a way that is true and not sugar-coated. I will integrate my Facebook shop and my Pinterest boards for more of a well-rounded presence. I will, as I said, use the blog for its intended purpose.

Right now, I'm struggling to move my handmade jewelry from my personal Facebook page to the business one. The system is clunky and slow and has repeatedly sited me for items that are against Facebook Marketplace policies when they are actually just pearl or crystal earrings. Also, I think it's easier to add items from your phone to Facebook than it is to do so from a laptop - is this on purpose? Are most people not using their laptop to handle business stuff? Typing out descriptions is so annoying on my phone.

Should be fun. Hope you come along.

Job Searching

Is there anything worse than looking for a job?

I can't think of anything that is harder on my self-esteem. I always start out pretty optimistic; I've had jobs in the past, clearly I'm hire-able. I've been in management, worked with owners, created documents and policies that shaped an entire company. I am smart, competent, resourceful, creative, and easy-going. I'm a catch! Of course I'll get a job, a great job with great pay and benefits. I search far and wide and send out supremely confident cover letters.

After a couple of weeks, I start thinking, "Maybe the universe is waiting to deliver a perfect job at the perfect moment and I just need to hang in there and be patient." I apply for a number of jobs I secretly hope I don't get but that would pay well enough. I find a few dream-job postings and agonize over the application. I do not get called by the good-enough jobs or the dream-jobs. I do not get called at all. And I suddenly realize that I'm going to have to start delivering groceries to have any kind of income at all.

I start to get cynical. Really, $11 an hour and I'm supposed to be a secretary, payroll, HR, and the janitor staff but somehow have a bachelors degree in a related field? I must have a proof that my actions were the clear cause of financial gain for companies I worked for in the past - unless you're in advertising or investments, how could you even prove that? Sometimes the job descriptions warn you that the culture is very specific and that only a certain kind of person will succeed there. It's a clear indication that those employees are going to treat you like shit until you somehow win them over. Some job descriptions include a stern list of things that are completely unacceptable at this "laid back" company (absolutely no jeans, cell phones, or aluminum foil allowed on site! Must like working outside or sitting on the floor! Must be comfortable caring for the owner's dogs! Must only eat nut-, gluten-, and meat-free foods at your desk because who has time for lunch, amiright??) and reading it makes you feel like you've found the manifesto of some insane cult. Every job posting demands that employees care about the company like entrepreneurs, work long hours, wear multiple hats in a fast-paced, ever-changing position, and derive their satisfaction from a job well-done, not well-paid.

Maybe when I was younger, I would have been more interested in job descriptions like these. Maybe I would have thought that the exclusivity made it more special somehow. Maybe I would have loved the idea of investing a ton of time and energy into a company that, at the end of the day, someone else profits from. Someone lounging on a boat in the tropics while I eat yogurt at my desk at 7 pm.

Now I'm just disappointed. I've worked the long hours and "taken ownership" of my positions. I've  cleaned bathrooms and I've been a member of a management team. I've taken to the internet and tried to sell handmade jewelry and scarves and a gorgeous, unworn wedding dress (all still available as absolutely no one is interested in anything coming from me). I've tried to visualize getting a great job or a financial windfall through manifestation. I've already done all this stuff and that experience and effort amounts to a hill of beans. Not gonna lie, it feels like the universe is avoiding me. Like, if the universe was a person, they would give me a polite smile in the hallway but refuse to make eye contact. If someone brought me up in a conversation with the universe, they would react like this:

I know that I have so much to be grateful for: friends, family, experiences, etc. I know this. I guess I'm just venting, yelling into the void. What I'm saying is, I'm discouraged. I feel like instead of nurturing and helping my family, I'm dragging it down with me. I feel like, ultimately,  I am without value.

Day 10 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 10 - Write about something for which you feel strongly

It sounds weird, but I really kind of hate this topic because my answer can only be an emotional one. I'm also prone to strong feelings. Regardless of the subject, I am likely to feel passionately about it in one way or another. I don't half-ass my feelings.

Maybe I should write about the thing that's been on my mind the most: getting a new job. I definitely have strong feelings about that.

On one hand, my family needs me to get a job. We have bills and a lot of fun and we'd like to keep paying for both. If I make a decent amount of money, it takes the strain off of my husband. He's unhappy at work and this situation makes him feel trapped because we rely on his paycheck. That's a terrible spot to be put in. We're paying a lot for health insurance - a ridiculous amount. If I got a job with insurance, I could eliminate like 3/4 of that particular bill.

On the other hand, ugh. I know that's not very eloquent but it feels accurate. I just got out of a job that made me miserable and I'm not looking forward to getting myself into another bad place. I'm the type that realizes that her office is awful and then continues to work there for another 5 years.

Most writing jobs are in content and SEO (search engine optimization). I don't want a job in SEO. I know this is a really unpopular attitude but I find SEO to be profoundly icky. The content you have to produce is shallow, keyword-heavy, less than truthful, and manipulative. I hate lying, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I also hate the idea of ripping off other people's work and of attaching my name to something low-quality.

The jobs that I would even consider require a degree and most of them are around downtown Austin anyway. I don't have a degree, I live in the suburbs, and I really hate long commutes, especially in traffic.

I like my schedule now. The house is much cleaner. I can have lunch with my son, go on field trips with him, and walk him home every day after school. I'm available to help people when they need me. If I'm up late taking care of a sick dog or kid or whatever, I can nap.

And I've been writing. That's really the best part. I've restarted the blog and I'm working on my novel. I've been heavily into affirmations and staying positive. I've never been happier.

So. What to do. Not that there's a real option. Obviously, I'm going back to work. I just really hope I end up where I'm supposed to be and the trade-offs are worth it.