Good grief, it might be easier for me to list the things I don't struggle with.
The biggest struggle I'm facing right now is my lack of focus. I read a lot of advice/self-help stuff and the key to getting your ideal life always seems to be laser-like focus.
My mind is everywhere and nowhere. I have literally taken 3 breaks just while writing this far. Once, because I was getting a headache from not wearing my glasses - why was I even at the computer without my glasses to begin with? The next time was because I clicked over to Facebook for no reason and browsed like 6 things in my feed before remembering that I'm supposed to be writing. The third time I walked around my kitchen aimlessly and then got cereal (my stomach is off, as usual) before I remembered that I was in there to take an allergy pill. So yeah. That's a 10 minute slice of my day and I'm always like that.
I read a book (fib: I read the first few chapters) about female ADD/ADHD and it seems like a reasonable diagnosis for me when you look at the symptoms. I was thinking of myself as a lazy, absent-minded procrastinator so it was a relief to think that maybe it has more to do with the way my brain works than being a deeply flawed person.
Being this easily distracted means that I forget to finish things that I started because I've already moved on to something new. I have trouble cleaning house because I start reading a magazine I found while picking up. Or I'll stop sweeping because I remember that I set a goal to do laundry so I go into my room to get clothes which reminds me that I need to make the bed but maybe I shouldn't because I meant to wash the sheets yesterday anyway and wow, I need to put away this jewelry before I start losing earrings, what was that thing on Pinterest to organize jewelry and make up? Down the rabbit hole I go, only to emerge when I realize that it's time to pick up Alex from school and I have nothing to show for my day.
Hilariously, there is an opposite to this as well. I will focus on one thing to the exclusion of all other stimulus. Usually, it's because I'm doing something creative and I'm in the zone. I can't hear my name being called in this mode. I can't follow a conversation or finish a sentence because I'm so physically and mentally involved with whatever it is. Sometimes I emerge from this state disoriented or drained. While it's exhausting and difficult to explain to other people, I prefer this version of myself because it's so productive and because the feeling in the zone is so sharp and euphoric.
I'm working on achieving more of those "in the zone" periods. I'm trying to set goals and create rules for myself; I'm using apps for meditation and developing good habits. I want to do better and to be more but, yeah, it's definitely a struggle.
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