Day 8 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 8 - Share Something You Struggle With

Good grief, it might be easier for me to list the things I don't struggle with.

The biggest struggle I'm facing right now is my lack of focus. I read a lot of advice/self-help stuff and the key to getting your ideal life always seems to be laser-like focus.

My mind is everywhere and nowhere.  I have literally taken 3 breaks just while writing this far. Once, because I was getting a headache from not wearing my glasses - why was I even at the computer without my glasses to begin with? The next time was because I clicked over to Facebook for no reason and browsed like 6 things in my feed before remembering that I'm supposed to be writing. The third time I walked around my kitchen aimlessly and then got cereal (my stomach is off, as usual) before I remembered that I was in there to take an allergy pill. So yeah. That's a 10 minute slice of my day and I'm always like that.

I read a book (fib: I read the first few chapters) about female ADD/ADHD and it seems like a reasonable diagnosis for me when you look at the symptoms. I was thinking of myself as a lazy, absent-minded procrastinator so it was a relief to think that maybe it has more to do with the way my brain works than being a deeply flawed person.

Being this easily distracted means that I forget to finish things that I started because I've already moved on to something new. I have trouble cleaning house because I start reading a magazine I found while picking up. Or I'll stop sweeping because I remember that I set a goal to do laundry so I go into my room to get clothes which reminds me that I need to make the bed but maybe I shouldn't because I meant to wash the sheets yesterday anyway and wow, I need to put away this jewelry before I start losing earrings, what was that thing on Pinterest to organize jewelry and make up? Down the rabbit hole I go, only to emerge when I realize that it's time to pick up Alex from school and I have nothing  to show for my day.

Hilariously, there is an opposite to this as well. I will focus on one thing to the exclusion of all other stimulus. Usually, it's because I'm doing something creative and I'm in the zone. I can't hear my name being called in this mode. I can't follow a conversation or finish a sentence because I'm so physically and mentally involved with whatever it is. Sometimes I emerge from this state disoriented or drained. While it's exhausting and difficult to explain to other people, I prefer this version of myself because it's so productive and because the feeling in the zone is so sharp and euphoric.

I'm working on achieving more of those "in the zone" periods. I'm trying to set goals and create rules for myself; I'm using apps for meditation and developing good habits. I want to do better and to be more but, yeah, it's definitely a struggle.

Day 7 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 7 - List 10 Songs that You are Loving Right Now

Oh this is a fun one. I get really obsessed with songs that I like and I just play them over and over. Right now I'm working so hard to build myself from the ground up so a few of the songs I'm listening to reflect that attempt. 

You'll notice that all the songs have well-written lyrics. I can't enjoy a song if there's something off about the words. 

These are in no particular order but I added the numbers to make sure I stayed at 10 lol. 

1. The Greatest by Sia. I feel like the Bobs from Office Space when I talk about Sia. 

Seriously, Sia is so incredibly talented. Her videos are beautiful and raw and artistic, just like her songs. She hooked me with Titanium and Chandelier and when I heard Elastic Heart it was all over. Seeing her live would be a dream come true.

2. Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars. The slow pulse of this song is hypnotic. A lot of their songs are like that; gorgeous harmony and emotional intensity. If you prefer less of a ballad, check out their song Barton Hollow.

3. The Downeaster Alexa by Billy Joel. Whaaa? I know. This song is in my head at least once a week, I love it. I have no connection to islander life or fishing but this song is so compelling. 

4. I Love It by Icona Pop (feat. Charli XCX). Do you need a song to BLAST while you drive? This is the one. It's so fun to yell the chorus. It gets me shaking that booty.

5. Thunder by Imagine Dragons. I feel like this is my anthem at this time in my life. I relate to the lyrics and this is a well-produced song. My seven year old son and his best friend are super into Imagine Dragons right now so we hear a lot of their music as a family.

6. Howling at Nothing by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats. This song is the perfect winding down song. I love it like I love red wine and familiar faces. Honestly, I don't think this band has a bad song, they are all pure unicorn magic. You've probably heard their song S.O.B. but you should check out the rest of their music. Like, all of it. We got to see this band live at SXSW and they also put on a great show.

7. Jackie and Wilson by Hozier. Holy moly, this guy. Strong, strong lyricist and his voice is haunting. His style is reminiscent of Van Morrison. I love all of his songs and his covers are great too.

8. Thank U by Alanis Morrisette. An old song but I heard it again the other day in a store and it seems perfect for this point in my life. Being grateful is a huge part of getting the joyful life you are looking for. When you look back on your life, there maybe a lot of things that seemed awful at the time but steered you in the best direction. Growth, change, bravery, forgiveness, peace - I remember all of it when I hear this song.

9. When You're Good to Mama by Queen Latifah. This is from the Chicago soundtrack and it's been stuck in my head for a few days now. I love musicals and show tunes. Judge away, I don't care. 

10. Land Down Under by Men at Work. A little random, perhaps, but it's been stuck in my head for a couple of weeks. I find myself singing it while folding towels or scrubbing the stove. It's fun! 

You should let me know what songs you are listening to in the comments! I would love some suggestions. 

Day 6 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 6 - 5 Ways to Win Your Heart

Hmm, an interesting topic. 

1. Be a nice person. Lavish love on babies and animals. Listen to kids when they talk. Talk to everyone as though they were your equal (spoiler alert: they are). Know the waiter's name. Get mad about inequality and cruelty. Buy from those annoying school fundraisers/scouts/child-run lemonade stands. Help a stranger if you are able to. Tip well. Support struggling artists. Just be a decent person.

2.  Be into me. Pay me sincere, specific compliments. Listen and remember what I say. Know why you love me; don't make me feel like you wonder why anyone would love me as much as I wonder.  Choose me. Be happy with me and for me. Be proud of me. If I'm passionate about something and you don't get it, still be happy that I'm happy and make an effort to at least understand. 

3. Be hilarious. I love funny people. I love laughing more than anything; I'll choose a funny movie over a drama every time. A person who is sharp and witty and clever is the best conversationalist. Movie references, self-deprecating humor, giving animals funny voices, sarcasm, puns, silliness, changing the lyrics to songs to make them funny - all of it is gold. Inside jokes are the BEST. 

4. Be smart and curious. I'm no Stephen Hawking but I love to learn and I read a lot and research things. I watch documentaries and science programs.  I will not suffer a fool. I feel like appreciating the arts falls under this category too. 

5. Have an accent/speak a foreign language. This last one is shallow, I know. But accents are hot. Being bilingual is hot. So hot. 

Day 5 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 5 of the 30 Day Writing Challenge

List 5 Places You Want to Visit

Oh man, just 5? I'm gonna have to group some places together.

1. Ireland and the British Isles. I want to see it all. All the historical sites, museums, pubs, live music, misty cliffs, the new mixed in with the old. I want to spend a lot of time and immerse myself in the places that have an amazing vibe. I want to make friends and see the stuff tourists don't usually see, eat the local food and try new drinks.

2. Hawaii. The more I hear about it, the more I want to go. I want to hike and play in the water and experience a true tropical place.

3. Oregon. I totally want to see the northwest region of the US. I'm very interested in checking out Portland. I have a friend who goes there frequently and he thinks I would love it.

4. Colorado. I love mountains. It just looks so beautiful there and I think there is a very "maker" sort of spirit there that I would like to check out.

5. Santa Fe, New Mexico. I want to check out all of the art and artisan products!

Really, I want to go everywhere. If someone suggested a vacation to just about anywhere, I would be on board. I liked the cruise I went on and I want to go on more cruises. A friend of mine cruised the Rhine and I was crazy jealous! There is a ton of stuff in Austria, Holland, Iceland, Germany, Greece, Romania, etc etc that I want to see and experience. It's a whole wide world out there and I want to get so see it!

Day 4 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Day 4 - Write about someone who inspires you.

The person who most inspires me is Neil Gaiman. He's a writer but he's actually so much more than that.

One of the things I most admire about Neil Gaiman is that he writes ALL THE THINGS. He writes adult books, kids books, screen plays, short stories, poems, spoken word pieces, and graphic novels. He's not bound by a self-imposed (or externally-imposed) set of limitations. He just writes whatever takes his fancy. That's amazing.

Neil Gaiman writes for a living. People give him money and he continues to write more things. It's my dream, that I could write something and people would give me money for it and then I would get to write more things.

Neil is a world-traveler. He experiences new things. He meets interesting people. He finds artists to collaborate with. He's also a father and a husband. None of the things about him are contradictory - he chooses the life that is meaningful to him and the world just keeps chugging along and he keeps being successful on his own terms.

Neil also speaks out about issues that are meaningful to him. He's got a sharp mind and a kind heart. He sees a problem in the world and he names it, he draws attention to it. Gaiman has a rare platform that allows him to be influential and he uses it to put more positivity and awareness into the world. He is a champion for the arts and for artists.

I find Neil Gaiman's art inspiring, I find his work ethic inspiring, I find his life inspiring. He has the kind of life and career that I aspire to. And he seems like a nice guy too.

Check out his Make Good Art commencement speech.

Day 3 - 30 Day Writing Challenge

Haha, so it's not the 3rd consecutive day but I'm picking up where I left off. Consistency is clearly a problem. Right now I have a unique situation though - I am unemployed. I'll write a whole thing about that later but for right now, just know that I have more time to write now. Because that's what writers do, they write.

Day 3 - What are your top three pet peeves?

Oh my goodness. Top 3, that's hard to narrow down. Am I a terrible person because of that? Probably.

#1 - People who won't shut the fuck up and move the fuck away from me. There are so many instances of this in my life but there are definitely two that stand out.

The first guy used to corner me at work so I could listen to lot of bragging and long-winded stories that were not entertaining. He was completely immune to my discomfort and annoyance. I stepped it up by ignoring him or telling him "I'm busy, I gotta go, etc" and that worked zero percent. I even tried to get my boss to intervene on my behalf. He just wouldn't shut up.

I talk a good sass game but I am ultimately polite to a fault. I don't like to hurt people's feelings or get confrontational, partially because I am either a 1 or a 10 on the emotional outburst scale. I let situations like this go for so long, hoping they will just magically work out without intervention, that I become even more hesitant to speak up for fear that I will either be too nice or I will come across as a hysterical woman.

So I did the only thing I could think of: I started avoiding him. In an office of around 100 people, this was pretty difficult. I had to stop going to the break room, I tried to avoid going to the bathroom, I parked in a different area, I used the least-convenient stairs, and I carefully timed my exits. It was a huge part of my day to avoid that guy.

I met the second guy when I was attempting to be a part of organized religion. He had a big, booming voice that he would use to repeat himself incessantly, parrot movie quotes, and generally be a pompous asshole. He was also incredibly selfish and a horrible husband and father. It was painful to witness. No one liked him; no one. He was THE WORST. But it was church, so everyone had to be fake nice and put up with him.

When I imagine what hell would be like, I assume it's just me in a room with those two.

#2 - Attempts to manipulate me, especially "guilting" me. I hate this so much. I tend to get into relationships with narcissistic people and then realize that I am being manipulated only after years of feeling like a crazy person. Like I said, I am usually nice to a fault and I believe people are basically decent so it's always a huge shock to discover I'm being lied to and manipulated. I'm getting better at spotting it but it does make me unusually hostile towards sales people, hahahaha!

#3 - Repetitive sounds. I like music with a good beat. I hate when you are in traffic and all you can hear is the beat in someone else's car. I hate when people turn up the bass super loud. I hate the sound of clocks ticking. I hate when a fan gets imbalanced and starts making a rhythmic click, an appliance makes a weird sound, or something in the car is rattling. These sounds makes me so anxious that I have to stop what I'm doing and try to fix it. It feels like my skin is trying to jump off my body and I actually feel nauseated. Ugh so awful!

Writing from a Prompt: Sunrise

Until that day, I had never watched the sun rise. Oh, I'd skulked home from some ill deed in the waning shadows and stumbled out of many a tavern in the wee hours of morning.  But, wrapped up in my haste or stupor, I'd never seen the stars slowly dim into a rosy-hued sky. I had no idea the sun would slip up behind the citadel and slide gently around each of the spires until the whole structure seemed gilded in the sun's golden light. The city itself, once clad in the misty shrouds of night, was gradually reborn in a riot of color and sound. It as as if the world were new again, and I was too, just for having seen it.